I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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