It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
