walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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