My girlfriend figured out who you are.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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