There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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