so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
