What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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