Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
