gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
