he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
