I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
