Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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