No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
