I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
