I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
