too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
