I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
