he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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