Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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