Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
