I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
People in love make me want to vomit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hippo gnu deer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
