plz talk dirty to me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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