He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
