exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
