I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize