I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
