She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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