This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
