Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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