Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
