Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
