Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
