singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
