Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
