the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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