Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
