I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
