Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Randomize
