i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
