The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
