Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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