Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
it hurts more in the daytime
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
