bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
