I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
