this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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