And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
