summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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