you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
