Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She's the barista slut.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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