ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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