he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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